McFlurry. You sad imitation of a Blizzard. Already half-melted before you were extruded into life. Your mixing spoon; both utensil and tool. Not long enough to reach the bottom. Not strong enough to mix anything. Your attempt at a soft-serve treat pales in comparison to DQ. But, your futility become an unintended treasure chest of flavor. A pump of caramel. A dump of candy. All waiting at the bottom unmixed. The petty anger of the worker not taking pride in their work. The self-hatred for getting a knowingly substandard dairy treat. Gone. Rich gooey ribbons of melted and browned sugar now frozen and clumping at the bottom like a prize. Delicious. Christ, my teeth hurt.
After 15 minutes on hold with Apple Enterprise Support I’d been subjected to Blitzkrieg Bop, REM’s Nightswimming, two goddamn Johnny Cash songs, and fucking Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop,” and I was just about ready to fly to their support center and destroy the iPod running their shitty hold music but then they gave me Daft Punk’s Something About Us and just like that all is forgiven.
Sleep. We need it. We haven’t gotten any sustained sleep since we brought her home. Human babies are easy because you can just leave them in their crib and let them cry and put in ear plugs so you don’t hear their shrieks, but big ass puppies don’t just cry, they whack you in your face and crotch with their giant Fritos paws, and they jump on the bed, and they don’t leave you alone until you take them outside at 2am so they can squat for 3 seconds and let out ketchup packet’s worth of pee before refusing to come back inside. Rinse and repeat several times a night.
Poop. She makes it. A lot of it.
Name. She has one. We through a few options around for a day. Buzz… Cosmo… We really liked Poe, but decided it sounded too much like “No” and that would just cause confusion and problems moving forward. We wanted something that began with a hard consonant sound to quickly grab her attention. We settled on Dana, or Special Agent Dana Scully, for short.
Energy. She has it. All of it. We give her a good workout every morning in the backyard before we crate her while we are at work. I’ve been going home for lunch all week to let her out and let her run around for another 20 minutes before crating her again until ~5pm. Then every evening we spend time walking and running and fetching, all in the hopes of expending enough energy that she will maybe, just maybe, oh for the sweet love of all that is holy, sleep through the night. So far it doesn’t seem like we’re doing enough because she’s rambunctious and constantly wanting to wrestle, no matter the hour of day. We’re investigating ways to keep her brain working while she’s crated (already have a Kong that we stuff w/ some pb), and we are open to advice/suggestions.
In case, like me, you could use a little unbridled joy and cool autumn feels right now.
Border-collie and pony best-friend frolicking.
Awesome. Adorable. Absolutely terrifying. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able let our new girl off leash outside my fenced-in yard after seeing this video. We might never see her again when she chases a squirrel across the state. Then again, she jumped and ran behind us in shock and fear when we unexpectedly encountered a cross-country runner on our hike yesterday evening… Sooooo….