Me: I had this weird dream I was wearing a mechanic’s jumpsuit and it was covered in ketchup and mustard and I was ashamed because I sucked.
Ryan: You dreamed you were Lowell from Wings?
If I could heart this more than once, I’d heart it a million times. I loved that show.
Omg, so did I…especially Casey, Helen’s older, dysfunctional sister. I have no idea why I liked her so much.
I’m not gonna lie: Wings is my favorite sitcom of all-time.
30 Rock has climbed its way to second place after only 3 seasons, so I’m not sure how much longer Wings can hold on, but it’ll always hold a special place in my heart.
I love Carlton. “If you were to carpet Florida, how long would it take to vacuum it?” I want to be that guy when I grow up.
Carlton Blanchard was the greatest recurring character in sitcom history. His initial appearance is magic. Tony Shalhoub’s performance in that episode as Antonio, increasingly annoyed by Carlton, is hysterical just because of the most subtle of expression changes and voice inflections as the whole thing progresses.
“Can you imagine 3 nose studs and a heavy cold? Whoa! Forget about it! You might sneeze and kill your friend!
“OOOAAAAHHHHHH! FUCKIN JOEY! MY EYE! MYYY EEEEYYYEEE!”
Now your friend has a pierced eye!
…To go along with your pierced nose.”—George Carlin
… that if butts were people, I’d be on a first name basis with the one attached to the girl who owns the tanning salon next to the Subway at which I’ve accrued 608 points, because without fail she’s always standing outside her business, talking on a cordless phone, and puffing on a cigarette while facing away from me.
If this butt had a name, I think it would be Francine, and all her butt-friends would call her Frannie, and on the weekends they would all get together and drink Miller High-Life while playing bridge.