Pooping dogs always have that look. That look of knowing. Knowing that what they’re doing looks awkward. And frustrated that while we get to go barricade ourselves in a room somewhere while we vacate our bowels, dogs instead are paraded around in the open and forced to do their business in front of a public’s very watchful eye.
I’ve never not seen that look in their eyes.
The rumpled eyebrows that are equal parts grunting-induced and “really? You’re just gonna stand and choose this very moment to lock eyes with me?”
A pooping dog looks like a muscle-headed body builder in the middle of a flex during a competition, hunched over and contorted in an unnatural pose while grunting.
Like baseball players, pooping dogs have difference stances.
Some will just stand in the batters box, get it done, and walk away trying to forget what they just were relegated to doing. Others do what I like to call Shit Walker, Texas Ranger [for those of you who are Chuck Norris fans]. These dogs look like they’re done going, but then begin walking around the lawn and finishing their business still half-humped over and half-walking. Then, of course, you have the dogs that finish going and let you know they are done - by doing their impression of a bull. They finish, move forward a step or two, and then violently kick their back feet a few times to kick up grass partially to cover their dookie, but mostly, to show their owners who is boss.
Eight or eighty years old, it won’t matter.
I’ll still laugh at a pooping dog.
Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you how often I talk about dogs pooping. Bruce hit the bullseye with this post.
Apparently the shit hits the proverbial fan if I pass out on the couch at 7pm on a Monday.
Anyway. Yes - what Tumblr is doing to Jeremy and Missing e is unprofessional, childish, and uncool in every way. However, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no other service fosters a community like Tumblr’s and you won’t see me running for the hills until another one comes along that does.
It’s not enough to know that the body of your old guitar is made of spruce and maple: What’s the bridge made of? If it’s ebony, do you have the paperwork to show when and where that wood was harvested and when and where it was made into a bridge? Is the nut holding the strings at the guitar’s headstock bone, or could it be ivory? “Even if you have no knowledge—despite Herculean efforts to obtain it—that some piece of your guitar, no matter how small, was obtained illegally, you lose your guitar forever,” Prof. Thomas has written. “Oh, and you’ll be fined $250 for that false (or missing) information in your Lacey Act Import Declaration.”
This is just insane.
Listen. I’m all for environmental protection, but there are far more important things that our justice department needs to be worrying about than whether or not the bridge on my vintage Wandré guitar was illegally harvested when it was built in Italy in the 1950s.
Two nuns are in the bath and one says to the other "Where's Izzy?" and the other says "I think Axl killed him and wears his skin as a dressing gown" and the first nun says "I don't know why I invited you to my bath, you're just weird".
In the name of the Slash, and the Duff, and the Holy Axl,
20:55 of one guitarist, one bassist, one drummer, and a warehouse of Marshall stacks. Absolutely brain-melting.
I’m merely 4 minutes into this ~21 minute track and it’s already among the best things I’ve heard all year. I can’t wait to listen to this on a real stereo - volume cranked to eardrum-shattering levels.
Axl and Slash got all the attention, but Steven Adler’s drumming was fundamental to the sound of Appetite For Destruction*. If you ever wondered why the Use Your Illusion albums sound like an almost entirely different band, the main reason is that Adler wasn’t the drummer (with all due respect to Matt Sorum, who is a very talented yet overly-safe and repetitive drummer).
Adler used cowbell all over the place on Appetite, but never so much as on this track. It’s one of my favorites - with all band members getting a chance to strut their stuff.
*Duff’s bright - almost twangy - bass tone also deserves some attention, and Izzy is the most underrated and under-appreciated guitarist in rock n’ roll history, without whom some of these tracks would have never been written, let alone sound as full as they do.