More things - Socks | Seven 9s and 10s

More things - Socks

OMG. I randomly caught the end of The Marriage Ref last night and it was about a husband who labels all his socks as left or right with numbers - and everyone was freaking out about how brilliant an idea it was.

Well, allow me to reblog my own post from March 19th, 2009. Sure, that dude and his wife got to go onto a shitty TV show, but I can’t just sit back and let people think he’s got a leg up on me²!

steelopus:

I enjoyed the Seven Things meme so much that I’ve decided to continue sharing my oddities with all of you.

I’ve already covered my hatred of feet¹ in a previous entry. Today I’m here to talk about socks. I love socks because their most basic purpose is to keep feet hidden from the world. I also love them because nothing accentuates a good set of gams better than a nice pair of socks, whether they be low, high, colorful, striped, white, black, fancy, or plain. But, here is where my OCD kicks in: I label my socks in distinct pairs.

Each pair gets tagged on the bottom of the toes with a sharpie. There’s a pair of 1s, a pair of 2s, a pair of Xs, a pair of Os, etc. I switched to letters after I tagged my first 6 pair with numbers. There are benefits to this process beyond keeping my OCD from flaring up. Keeping specific pairs results in even wear across the sets. Additionally, it gives me a quick way to identify pairs. I can tell you quickly that pairs 4 and 5 are currently on their last legs², while pairs 1, T, and X are still in good shape. If I’m headed someplace where I’ll surely have to remove my shoes (I’m really not a big fan of such places) then I can quickly scan the drawer and find one of the pairs that isn’t going to completely embarrass me³.

I know that I’m insane. I secretly hope there is a girl out there who has a fetish for guys that are weird enough to keep their socks separated into distinct pairs, and that one day she’ll read this and contact me and we’ll fall madly in love and everything will be smiles and giggles and peaches and sunshine until the day she asks me to lick her feet, at which point I would kick her out of my house and then go sit, sobbing, in a cold shower.

FYI, my default sock is the Hanes® Crew Sock - White. $9.00 at Target.

¹More things - On Feet

²I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.

³What would embarrass me is generally something that most people would consider still a good clean sock. Once there is any general browning or or discoloration, it’s a goner. Come on now people. Socks are cheap and I can think of few things better than wearing a brand new pair of socks, so there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t throw out your socks before they get totally nasty.