Seven 9s and 10s

do you definitely never want to have kids? (from what i have read in your blog, it seems like you don't really ever want kids)

if it's too personal of a question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to...

also...i was going to post this anonymously, but i figured somehow you would figure out it was me anyway with your computery ways!! :)

Asked by Anonymous

… you still asked me anonymously, which is fine, but if you ever want to reveal yourself, feel free to ask again.

As for the question itself…

I definitely never want to have kids.  I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember.  Most people who are pro-children seem incapable of understanding why anyone would feel the way I (and countless others) do.  It’s an argument that I’ve seen go back and forth here on Tumblr many times before, and it’s not an argument that I shy away from.

The clearest I can sum it up is this: if you are someone who wants to have kids, then I assume it’s something inside you that drives that desire.  You “just know” that you want kids.  It’s not a decision that you’ve made so much as it’s an emotion, or a need.  It’s ingrained into your spirit and your soul.

And for me, it’s exactly the same, just in reverse.  This isn’t a decision that I’ve labored over; I haven’t sat in a field pondering a life with or without children.  I just know that I don’t want kids.  I just know that I don’t want to have that enormous responsibility.  I just know that I desire a life with the selfish-freedom to go anywhere and do anything at anytime.  I just know that I have other priorities in my life.

Surely a psychologist could sit me down and analyze me an say that my not wanting kids is an underlying fear of failure or it’s a selfish manifest of my ego or it’s a fear of commitment.  And most of that would probably be very true, but that in no way changes what I just know: that I don’t want to have kids.

Maybe my feelings will change in the future, but for now: I am who I am.  Take me or leave me.

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Notes

  1. lazybaby said: weezersteve, it was me. man…i feel like i’ll never get this whole tumblr-thing! (i was obviously planning on not asking anonymously)  : )
  2. tj said: Anyone who doesn’t get this has an overly romantic view of the world and many will probably resent having kids. I’ve said for a long time that when most people talk about why they want to have kids it sounds like they’d be better off getting a dog.
  3. talesfromthecrypt said: Thank you for summing up my complete sentiments about wanting to keep my womb barren.
  4. theungracefulone said: Good for you for knowing where you stand. I hope you don’t take shit from anyone about it.
  5. myrm said: Whatever your choices in life, I think you’ll make an amazing father just like you’ll make a fantastic husband. <3
  6. nilszero said: I forget if you’re an only child, but I am and I sometimes I wonder if that doesn’t weigh in there. Also, I’m incredibly self-involved. (I don’t think that’s the case for you)
  7. guillee said: I feel the exact same way.
  8. steelopus posted this