Seven 9s and 10s

High-res A panoramic image of my favorite restroom in the school district at which I work. Single-user. Locking door. Ample space (for napping or exercising). Abundant lighting (great for analysis). Wall handles for those difficult moments. Multiple power outlets that allow my electronics to charge while I poop. Also handy for days when I need to set up a workspace outside my office. A personal fire alarm so I’ll never have to worry about dying on the toilet while the burning building collapses around me. A child-height mirror that prevents me from seeing my face. A little desk on which I can place my stuff and/or enjoy a quiet lunch. A little chair where people can sit and watch me. An exterior door located directly outside, allowing for a swift and anonymous escape.

A panoramic image of my favorite restroom in the school district at which I work.

  • Single-user.
  • Locking door.
  • Ample space (for napping or exercising).
  • Abundant lighting (great for analysis).
  • Wall handles for those difficult moments.
  • Multiple power outlets that allow my electronics to charge while I poop. Also handy for days when I need to set up a workspace outside my office.
  • A personal fire alarm so I’ll never have to worry about dying on the toilet while the burning building collapses around me.
  • A child-height mirror that prevents me from seeing my face.
  • A little desk on which I can place my stuff and/or enjoy a quiet lunch.
  • A little chair where people can sit and watch me.
  • An exterior door located directly outside, allowing for a swift and anonymous escape.