Dude. Life…man; this shit ain’t easy.

In general, when I am witness to a truly spellbinding and virtuosic musical performance, I walk away either feeling extremely motivated to go home and practice so that I may one day be that good… or I leave with my self-confidence completely shattered. Last night was the latter, as I saw an utterly incredible show by Brown Bird.

That’s a ridiculously talented duo right there, each of them with endless musical chops - but it was David Lamb in particular who reached into my soul, grabbed my feeble ball of talent, and crushed it in his fist, all while simultaneously playing a kick drum with his right foot and a tambourine and cowbell with his left, intricately picking and strumming a [gorgeous vintage Gibson ES-125T] guitar with his hands, and singing beautiful and caustic melodies about the perpetuity of work and the inevitability of the end of the world.

Do yourselves a favor and don’t miss an opportunity to see them live.

http://brownbird.net/

Song #3: Complete.

Three down. Two to go.

I had my eighth therapy session yesterday. I left without scheduling another. I’m not sure it has helped me much. One of my primary goals certainly didn’t see any progress, though I really don’t blame myself, because I’ve lived most of 2012 in an environment in which that goal was put to the test on an almost a daily basis.

Maybe this therapist just isn’t the right fit for me. Maybe I’m too stubborn to make the changes that are necessary for progress and growth. Maybe change is happening and I just can’t see it yet. All I know for sure is that there are still several times each day when I think about the choices I’ve made in the past few months and I question almost all of them.

What do I want? What do I need? Are they the same thing? Can they be?

• My sister visited a psychic last week and the first thing she was told was that her younger brother (me) was a “wild man” and that the girls were all crazy for him to the point that he was having to fight them off and well I guess that makes it pretty clear that my sister just paid a crazy lady to tell her a load of absolute bullshit.
• Currently: mornings are painful; days fluctuate; evenings are lonely.
• It took about eleven weeks, but I’ve successfully written lyrics to another song. (That’s better than eleven years.)
• My goal is to write three more songs before the end of the year, record them in the winter, and release them in 2013. I’m hoping for a ten track album, with five songs performed twice each*: once electric, once acoustic.

(Image via http://www.explodingdog.com)

For a number of reasons, I generally don’t like New York City.

Over the weekend I learned that the only thing that can make me enjoy New York City is being able to spend my time there with someone who I really enjoy spending time with.

The ability to focus on one person provides a perfect distraction from the ever-present crowds, the constant noise, the permeating smells, the inability to walk at a steady pace, and all of the other things that bother me about that place.