Suzy tagged me in this thing.
Here we go.
1. Would you rather take a test of 100 math problems or write a dozen essays?
Math. All the math.
2. Would you rather have a crab hand + a normal hand, or very large webbed feet?
Any non-human hand would make it difficult to play pretty much any musical instrument, so I’ll… take the feet. That’s probably the first and last time I’ll ever ask for feet.
3. Would you rather have one hoe in all the different area codes, or lots of hoes in one area code?
What’s the terrain like in these area codes? I mean, 25 hoes in 1 rocky-terrained area code ain’t doing me much good. But 1 hoe in each of 25 different agriculturally-rich area codes… well that would be more useful. Wait. You’re not talking about farming. Nevermind.
4. Is it better to buy used furniture for cheap and spend time + money making it exactly how you want it, or to spend a little more on furniture that doesn’t require any work but maybe isn’t 100% what you were looking for?
This is the type of shopping-dilemma that really frustrates me. Furniture is something that you’re going to have and use for a long time, so I really don’t think it’s a good idea to buy something you’re not 100% satisfied with. It also depends on what type of furniture you’re looking for; I’m not about to buy a cheap couch and think I’ll be able to make it suit my needs, because I’m not a goddamn couch designer, but I guess with enough time I could figure out how to improve a cheap coffee table or something.
5. What would you wear if you had to put on the funniest outfit you could make with clothing you already own?
Long johns. Underwear on top of those. Nothing else.
6. Would you rather be able to shoot laser beams with your eyes, or shoot fireballs out of your hands?
Is this a Cyclops scenario where I’d always have to wear goofy goggles just to make sure I wasn’t inadvertently igniting everything I looked at? Because that would suck. I’ll take the fireballs and I’d get angry anytime anyone tried to say it was magic and I’d tell them it’s an illusion… then I’d shoot fireballs at them with my hands.
7. If you could be a historical Vice President, who would you be? Uncle Joe Biden doesn’t count as he is the current and best VP.
Andrew Johnson. Fast track to the presidency!
8. Would you rather fart glitter or be unable to tell the difference between the color brown and the concept of increasing?
I’d rather fart glitter than so many other things. I’d rather fart glitter than be able to tell time.
9. Name the first country that pops into your mind. Now tell me its capital. Thanks. Will you write a report on that country for me? It has to be 3 pages long, double spaced.
Djibouti. Djibouti City. Nope.
10. What time is it?
11. Do you have a best friend? Describe them using only 5 words.
She’s an alien like me.
12. Do you want fries with that?
Of course. Make ‘em crispy.
The Reverend Horton Heat
The Full-Custom Gospel Sounds Of
Suzy is one of my favorite people on the internets. When she inadvertently starts a meme, you’d better believe I’m going to join the fun.
You guys like my Daft Punk cover band?
Definitely the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. I’m calling it early. It’s over. Suzy wins Tuesday.
"those buildings should calm down" - Suzy.
Why am I not meeting you this weekend at CHSH. This makes me sad.
Two official reasons:
- Airfare from Rochester to Chicago never dipped below $300 in the 4 months that I searched.
- I only have 4 vacation days left to last me until July 1st.
One very real reason:
- I don’t really have any desire to meet people in largely impersonal group gatherings like this. 5 people or less, please. That’s my limit. More than that and I don’t learn enough about everyone else and everyone else doesn’t learn enough about me.
Reasons that weren’t originally reasons but have since become reasons:
- I still have eleven 40 in 40 songs remaining.
- My friend Brian’s Cake cover band has their first gig on Saturday night.
- It’s playoff hockey season.
- I’m currently investigating options for either a mid-atlantic road trip or a southern california jaunt in June to catch some David Bazan shows and that will likely use up my vacation time and spare change.
- Work has become insanely busy within the past two weeks and there is no end in sight.
Anyway. I’ll meet all of you someday. Until then, you’ll just have to trust me when I tell you how awesome I am and how great I am in bed.