insooutso replied to your photo: This dude is gonna be so sad when he realizes he’s…

Watch this. Wait for the guy with the yellow hawk. Samsies? vimeo.com/5936810

1. Close, but not samsies. My dude had a very similar hawk, but he also had two mini horizontal hawks above each of his ears. It was a genuinely impressive doo, especially for a suburban McDonald’s.
2. Expect to hear from the HR department here at my workplace after I explain to them why that video was played on my computer.
3. My eyes. OH GOD MY EYES!

• Missing Persons “Words” gently falls from the ceiling speakers.
• A grandpa struggles to assemble a Happy Meal toy for his screaming grandson while a grandma continually encourages him to use the instructions.
• One of the “helpers” mops the floor around my feet while I’m eating, as I attempt to cover my salad to prevent any contamination.
• A toddler girl absolutely loses her shit when she finds a pickle on her hamburger.
• I question why I continue to eat my Southwest Salads (grilled) in the restaurant each visit instead of using the drive-thru and finding a deserted parking lot someplace where I could eat in peace and then maybe close my eyes and drift away from reality for a few beautiful minutes.