Seven 9s and 10s

Track:
Only In Dreams

Artist:
steelopus

Album:
steelopus

weezer - Only in dreams (steelopus version) - arranged for Mallet Percussion Ensemble

I couldn’t let today pass without acknowledging the blue album. Happy 20th birthday to the album that had the most dramatic affect on my young life. If you care about anything else I’ve said about weezer in the past, there are currently 132 tagged posts for you to dig through.

I arranged this 8 years ago, just as I was finishing up my undergrad Music Education degree.  It is essentially a note-for-note transcription of this classic song.

My experience as a percussion minor introduced me to many a varied new technique, including my favorite which was bowed vibraphone.  When you bow the bars of a vibe, they emit a pure pitch that fades in and out (youtube example).  The first time I heard the technique, I immediately thought it sounded a lot like electric guitar feedback, and decided I would find a way to use it in that sense.  That spawned this project.

Unfortunately this recording is just a somewhat flawed MIDI version (there was no way to actually fake bowed vibes when I made this back in 2001), but it gets the point across. I’d still like to find a real ensemble to perform it.

Track:
Only in dreams

Artist:
weezer

Album:
steelopus

weezer - Only in dreams (steelopus version) - arranged for Mallet Percussion Ensemble

It’s been a while since I’ve reposted this…

I arranged this 8 years ago, just as I was finishing up my undergrad Music Education degree.  It is essentially a note-for-note transcription of this classic song.  I was a trumpet major and a percussion minor and I dated a talented marimba player for a while.  Her talents were what originally inspired me to explore mallet arrangement.

My experience with percussion, under the direction of the fantastic Dr. Kristin Shiner McGuire, introduced me to many a varried new technique, including my favorite which was bowed vibraphone.  When you bow the bars of a vibe, they emit a pure pitch that fades in and out (youtube example).  The first time I heard the technique, I immediately thought it sounded a lot like electric guitar feedback, and decided I would find a way to use it in that sense.  That spawned this project.

Unfortunately this recording is just a somewhat unfortunate MIDI version, but it gets the point across.

For years I’ve wanted to set up a live performance. Last week I saw the Eastman Percussion Ensemble perform and ever since I have been inspired and reinvigorated to make it happen.

Please let me know what you think!

globochem:

welp

Listen here, kiddo.
There’s no easy way to break this to you so I’m just going to let you have it: you’re frighteningly ugly.  Now, I give you credit for your attempt to look as beautiful as me, but you have failed in the most dramatically miserable fashion that I have ever seen.
Allow me to give you a few tips for future photography sessions - though, I have to be honest here, the first thought that crossed my mind as I started writing this was: “God help us if anyone is ever stupid enough to once again take pictures of this walking nightmare.”
Next time you should try losing somewhere between 50 and 75 percent of your body weight before heading to the studio. Yes, I know this will be challenging for a hippopotamus/human hybrid like yourself (hippopotuman?), but it’ll be for your own good, and it’ll definitely be good for everyone else too.
Grow some hair. It will really help the photographer to not have to worry about being blinded every time his flash bounces off your big shiny dome. It’s bad enough that your cheeks resemble an elaborate attempt to recreate Archimedes Heat Ray, but if you have any success with my first tip then you that won’t specifically be an issue anymore. So just concentrate real hard and clench your asshole and put some earplugs in and plug your nose and close your eyes and push with all your might. With any luck that will sprout some stems out of that mass of flesh that’s seemingly an extension of your ass cheeks.
Now, again, this one will be very difficult unless you can lose some of that disgusting chub, but you really need to prop yourself up on your arms. I’ve been closely inspecting this photo and I think you actually have wrists, and I’m ready for the consequences if I’m wrong about that and you simply just have two of those novelty water snake toy things attached to your shoulders. By propping yourself up you’ll be demonstrating that you are strong (chicks dig strength) as well as elongating your torso and neck, which by the time you try this will hopefully be reduced to the Standard Human Model (#SHM-NECK-001) that includes only one chin (rather than the approximately 17 chins that I can discern in this photo).
White is not your color.
Seriously though, did you eat your quadruplet siblings in the womb, and have they managed to sew your mother’s vagina back together yet? If they need reinforcements tell them not to even bother with All The King’s Horses And All The King’s Men, because that crew has proven itself ineffective time and time again.
In conclusion, let me wish you the best of luck. Just because you’re the most hideous creature that I’ve ever laid eyes on (and that’s saying a lot coming from me - hell, I’m the chairman of the World’s Ugliest Dog competition) doesn’t mean you can’t turn your life around. I’ll leave you with a copy of my award-winning photo. You should use it as inspiration to be all you can be.
Godspeed,Steelopus

globochem:

welp

Listen here, kiddo.

There’s no easy way to break this to you so I’m just going to let you have it: you’re frighteningly ugly.  Now, I give you credit for your attempt to look as beautiful as me, but you have failed in the most dramatically miserable fashion that I have ever seen.

Allow me to give you a few tips for future photography sessions - though, I have to be honest here, the first thought that crossed my mind as I started writing this was: “God help us if anyone is ever stupid enough to once again take pictures of this walking nightmare.”

  1. Next time you should try losing somewhere between 50 and 75 percent of your body weight before heading to the studio. Yes, I know this will be challenging for a hippopotamus/human hybrid like yourself (hippopotuman?), but it’ll be for your own good, and it’ll definitely be good for everyone else too.
  2. Grow some hair. It will really help the photographer to not have to worry about being blinded every time his flash bounces off your big shiny dome. It’s bad enough that your cheeks resemble an elaborate attempt to recreate Archimedes Heat Ray, but if you have any success with my first tip then you that won’t specifically be an issue anymore. So just concentrate real hard and clench your asshole and put some earplugs in and plug your nose and close your eyes and push with all your might. With any luck that will sprout some stems out of that mass of flesh that’s seemingly an extension of your ass cheeks.
  3. Now, again, this one will be very difficult unless you can lose some of that disgusting chub, but you really need to prop yourself up on your arms. I’ve been closely inspecting this photo and I think you actually have wrists, and I’m ready for the consequences if I’m wrong about that and you simply just have two of those novelty water snake toy things attached to your shoulders. By propping yourself up you’ll be demonstrating that you are strong (chicks dig strength) as well as elongating your torso and neck, which by the time you try this will hopefully be reduced to the Standard Human Model (#SHM-NECK-001) that includes only one chin (rather than the approximately 17 chins that I can discern in this photo).
  4. White is not your color.
  5. Seriously though, did you eat your quadruplet siblings in the womb, and have they managed to sew your mother’s vagina back together yet? If they need reinforcements tell them not to even bother with All The King’s Horses And All The King’s Men, because that crew has proven itself ineffective time and time again.

In conclusion, let me wish you the best of luck. Just because you’re the most hideous creature that I’ve ever laid eyes on (and that’s saying a lot coming from me - hell, I’m the chairman of the World’s Ugliest Dog competition) doesn’t mean you can’t turn your life around. I’ll leave you with a copy of my award-winning photo. You should use it as inspiration to be all you can be.

Godspeed,
Steelopus