Thursday night on the couch, watching Chopped (Episode 225 - All-Burger Meal).
- hamburger buns
- chocolate peanut clusters
- shaved coconut
- sesame seeds
Me to Heather, mockingly predicting what the annoying male contestant is going to make: “Derrrrrp. Yeah I’m going to make a Bread Pudding Burger!”
Audio from the TV: “I’m going to make a Bread Pudding Burger.”
Me to the TV: I told you! Goddammit! You’re so predictable!
Me to Heather: If the next girl makes French Toast, I’m going to kill someone tonight!
Me, mockingly predicting to the TV what the respectable female contestant will make: “I’m going to make Coconut Ice Cream and a Hamburger Bun French Toast!”
Audio from the TV: “I’m going to prepare a Shaved Coconut Ice Cream and Hamburger Bun French Toast.”
Heather, terrified and jumping away from me: “Oh!My!God! BB! WHO ARE YOU GOING TO KILL?!
Both of us: *uncontrollable laughter*
I’m going to miss John Oliver as the host of TDS. That’s as much a credit to his talent as a comic and as a host as it is to the strength of TDS writing staff.
"If you think about it… any box could have vibrators in it."
…I hear: “I think I’m better than you because I don’t really watch TV.”